Beauty Standards of Grace

scaleSeveral weeks ago, I wrote of my decision to stop trying to lose weight. I was tired of feeling so fat and ugly and trying so hard only to lose absolutely nothing, which in turn made me feel even more fat and ugly, as well as a complete failure. It was a vicious cycle.

I just wanted to be ok with me. I didn’t want to feel like I was a sinner for being fat. I didn’t want to feel like I was trash for being fat. I didn’t want to feel like every bite of food or sip of drink was a choice between good and evil, because inevitably most times I chose evil. That makes me evil, right?

Well, I’m back at the losing weight thing again. But this time it’s different.

This time, I’m working at it because I love me. I am loved by my Creator. I am loved by my family. They love me because I am me. There is no reason for me to hate myself because of my body.

In fact, the truth is, if my worth were measured by my body, I’d never amount to anything, because I could be skinny as possible and my hips will always be too wide, my belly always and forever marked with irreversible stretch marks, and chances are my teeth will still remain crooked. My body will never measure up to my standards of beauty.

If my body can never measure up to my standards of beauty, it’s not time to hate my body; it’s time to change my standards.

And so I have.

My Beauty Standards:

  1. I will be a woman of confidence.
  2. I will be a woman of joy.
  3. I will be a woman of love.
  4. I will be a woman of strength.

Caring for my body should only be a reflection of my confidence, joy, love, and strength. If I lose weight because I am caring for my body, that is great. I’ll take that. But if caring for my body does not produce weight loss, you know what… so be it. I’m ok with that. I won’t let it steal my confidence, joy, love, or strength.

And just for the record, this grace filled way of thinking is changing things. The numbers on the scale are dropping for the first time in over three years, and I’m happy… not deprived and depressed.

So maybe there truly is something to this grace.


*photo credit


  1. Kathy Prentice says:

    Love you to pieces, just the way you are: a wonderful Christian, wife, mother, daughter and friend!!!

  2. Wonderful!!! I’m going to print out these standards for my mirror! :)

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  1. […] dear friend wrote a beautiful post on exchanging our beauty standards for standards of grace. I printed them out for myself as a daily reminder to look at myself through the eyes of […]

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