Music Monday: 7×70

7x70Chris August 7×70

(listen on Spotify or Youtube)

I’ve been living in this house here
Since the day that I was born
These walls have seen me happy
But most of all they’ve seen me torn
 
They’ve heard the screaming matches
That made a family fall apart
They’ve had a front row seat
To the breaking of my heart
 
7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
 
7 times 70 times
There’s healing in the air tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around
 
I remember running down the hallway
Playing hide and seek
I didn’t know that I was searching
For someone to notice me
 
I felt alone and undiscovered
And old enough to understand
Just when I’m supposed to be learning to love
You let me doubt again
 
7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
 
7 times 70 times
There’s healing in the air tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around
 
I lost count of the ways you let me down
But no matter how many times
You weren’t around
I’m all right now
 
God picked up my heart and helped me through
And shined a light on the one thing
Left to do
And that’s forgive you
 
I forgive you
 
7 times 70 times
If that’s the cost I’ll pay the price
 
7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
 
7 times 70 times
There’s healing in this house tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around 
 

This song brings so much emotion to the edge of my heart. And yet so much guilt for feeling these emotions. Who am I to say I had a painful childhood? Who am I to say that my childhood homes bring back memories that I’d rather forget?

There are so many people in the world who experienced far worse over and over again. So many children at this very moment being beaten by a drunk or furious parent. So many children at this very moment being touched in ways they never should. What makes my pain special? How could I hurt when there is far worse?

Yet, just because there is far worse, doesn’t make the wrongs right. Making light of it all is only denial. It’s choosing to remain in the bondage of the past.

Before I can even forgive and move on, I have to confront the memories. I have to see them one by one, acknowledge the hurt, the pain… the abuse. Only then can I forgive. Only then can I say, “I am more than this!”

What memories does your childhood home hold? Do they need acknowledging?

Find a quiet place alone. Take an old photo album or other item that holds memories. Drive out to the old place, if you can. And then let the memories come.

Grab them one by one. Let yourself cry. Let yourself feel the pain. Take your time.

Then reach up, grab the healing that our Redeemer offers, wrap it around, and forgive.

________________________________________________________________

In the conservative circle in which I grew up, contemporary Christian music was not allowed. After marrying, I began to listen to a CCM radio station. Much of my spiritual growth since then can be attributed to the many CCM artists and the songs they write. There is truth in those words and power in their music.

If music means as much to you as it does to me, you might want to check out Spotify. This music program allows you to search for particular songs and save them to playlists, allowing you to listen to your music whenever you wish. Best yet, it’s free. (It will require you to download their music program to your computer, but I promise it will not download any junk.) You can find all the songs highlighted in Music Mondays at the Recovered Identity Spotify playlist.

 

*photo credit

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