Why I Stopped Trying to Lose Weight

me2The American culture is obsessed with weight. Celebrities are harassed when they drop a few pounds below the optimum weight and publicized and made fun of when their weight rises above the perfect skinny.

I was standing in the grocery line the other day when a magazine cover caught my eye. It had pictures of mystery celebrities… “Guess whose thighs are dimpled with cellulite. Which movie star has pudge rolling over her bikini?”

But here’s the thing… those women (whom they were, by implication, calling fat and ugly) were probably at least 50 pounds lighter than I. Their cute cellulite make mine look like a freak disease. Their smooth bellies may roll by half a centimeter over their bikini bottoms, but hey! they are wearing a bikini and rocking it.

If these poor women are being ridiculed for their slight “imperfections”, what would these magazine editors say about me? I can only imagine. I’ve spent my entire post-birth days trying to lose weight. That’s eight years! Sometimes, weight would come off easily with a little work. But after the last baby three years ago, it doesn’t budge. But eight years is a lot of time spent trying to look good.

You see, if I say to myself that I want to lose weight to look better, then I am by default telling myself that I am fat and ugly. I just am. And with all the trying, I’m not getting results. Therefore, I’m constantly feeling fat and ugly AND like an inconsistent failure.

Sure, I could go all crazy and do the fanatic thing… you know, go on a super strict diet of only veggies and become a gym addict. But that’s not the life I want. I don’t want to be ruled by a desire to be skinny. It’s also not the kind of life my husband wants me to live.

So, I’m ready to say “the heck with it” because ultimately, I don’t want to lose weight. What I really want is to just be ok with who I am inside and out. I want to see myself as beautiful and attractive, no matter what my weight is. I want to be confident in myself in any stage of life and health.

So I set aside the goal to lose weight so that I can focus on changing my thinking. I still plan to maintain my exercise routine. I don’t plan to go hog wild with junk food. I’m just not going to stress the weight. Instead, I want to learn to love myself now, at my heaviest, so that when I do lose weight, it’s not any different than showering or brushing my teeth. It’s just caring for the beautiful body I already have.


  1. So true! Caring for yourself is so much more important than caring about how much you weigh! If you exercise, eat right, and drink plenty of water, you’re already on the right path. And if you eventually lose the extra weight, it’s a bonus! :)

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  1. […] weeks ago, I wrote of my decision to stop trying to lose weight. I was tired of feeling so fat and ugly and trying so hard only to […]

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